My Addiction.

Is more than a bad habit,
its now a part of me,
what I do
and who I am.

I can't help to crave it,
can't help to stay away from it,
I can't help the unbelievably
great rush I get from it.

It seems to throw me into the ocean,
drown me in pain,
and pull me back out
feeling better than ever.

Until, of course, the rush fades away,
and I'm forced to do it again,
this time taking a larger dose
than the time before.

It blocks out my emotional pain,
until I'm left with physical,
and thats much less
painful than emotional.

I continue to live on it,
even when I know its bad for me,
and even when the ones I love
tell me to quit.

So I'm sorry,
And as much as want to stop,
Its more painful if I do
and I'm threw with so much pain.

I want this all to end,
but after all,
my addiction
is now a part of me...

literally.