The Shadow.

So there I am.
Standing high above millions,
Looking down at what is described as a "nasty fall".
Or an escape?

A body of broken bones.
An ocean of blood escaping it.
And one less life lived to it's potential.

I step closer to the edge.
The algid wind pushing against my back,
Encouraging me to let go.
Or scaring me from going through with this?

A demon inside me.
An enemy with a heart of onyx.
Urging me to jump.

I look down at my wrist.
Quickly a memory lights,
Flashbacks start to flicker.
Or were they merely nightmares?

A frigid blade.
An act of impulse.
Teeth sinking into unbroken skin.

I take a deep breath.
Think of everything that has happened,
And how I didn't deserve any of it.
Or maybe I deserved it all?

A life of secrets.
An absolute besiegement of emotion.
Drowning me deep in an ocean of pain.

I try to make my thoughts drown the voice.
The voice in my head that pleads me to stop,
That yells at me to end all of this.
Or is it really yelling at me to jump, and get this all over with?

A voice.
An obscure and faint whisper.
No matter how hard I try to drown it, it simply floats back up.

Then it hits me.
Two hands, pushing against my back.
Next thing I know, I'm falling, the sidewalk getting closer and closer then...
Or am I flying, imagining this, dreaming, what's going on?!

A BAM!
An algid rush floods through my veins.
My life ceases.

Abruptly, my eyes shoot open.
And there I am,
Looking right at myself in the mirror, perfectly safe.
Or am I really in danger?

A reflection.
An identity quite misleading.
Wearing a mask 365 days, 52 weeks, and 12 months a year.

So there I am.
Standing ground level, among millions.
Looking at what is described as a "disturbed teenager".
Or maybe a teenager trying to feel something other than emotional pain?

A mind-opener.
An image of myself, holding a blade,
Its teeth covered in blood.

I continue to look into the scuffed up mirror.
Looking into my olive-freckled eyes,
I see me, lost and distressed.
Or is this person a stranger? This person can't be me, can it?

A memory lights.
An important and powerful memory leaks.
One that fills me up with envy.

A young and optimistic girl.
Happy and smiling, her whole life ahead of her.
Never letting anything stop her from living her life to her satisfaction.
Or maybe this is me?

Yes. This was me.
This is who I wish I could be again.
No. Wait. This is who I know I can be again.

My hands grow weak.
The blade falls and hits the floor, as crimson tears are shed,
And I realize, my pain grew into a monster overtime, eventually controlling me.
Or maybe it was up to me to control the monster?

A demon inside me.
An enemy with a heart of onyx.
One that I will refuse to listen to from now on.

Why?
Because I'm better than this.
I know I am.
Or are you?

A ghost.
An opaque shadow lingers beneath me.
The shadow of the monster I buried along with my pain and my past.

A shadow I no longer
Let rise above
Me.