If I Hadn't.

If the blade wasn't down against my wrist,

the loss of blood, 

the rush and addiction of wanting more,

If I hadn't broke off from my family's beliefs,

and just stuck to the idea of there ever being a god,

or that marriage being two people of the same sex is wrong,

If I hadn't been with someone most my friend's didn't approve of,

in that dark, dim-lit room,

doing things no one would have expected,

If I had done the 'right' thing,

done what I had been told,

and kept my opinions and questions to myself,

I keep thinking what my life would have been like,

but all those things I have done make me who I am,

make people hate me or love me,

So even though I have made 'wrong' choices in people's eyes,

I don't regret it,

because no matter how much they urge me to change, I won't.

This is who I am,

who I want to be, who I will continue to be,

and no one will change that.